My Inner Self Healing

Have you ever found yourself saying things like, “I know what I want, but I just can’t say it,” or “I know what to do, but I always have an excuse”? You’re not alone. In fact, it’s one of the most common struggles people face when they come to me for coaching. There’s this deep internal battle between knowing what’s right and actually doing it. The poem I wrote captures this constant tug-of-war—the dance between awareness and action.

I know what I want
But I just can’t say it.

I know what is right
But I keep getting it wrong.

I know when the time is right
But I only know how to procrastinate.

I know what I have to say
But I say the wrong things instead.

I know what not to believe
But I still do anyways.

I know I can do it
But I keep holding back.

I know what I want to see
But I look the other way instead

I know what to do
But I always have an excuse.

We’ve all been there. We know we want change, we even know what that change should look like, but something stops us from reaching out, from stepping into it. So why do we hold back? Why do we keep making excuses for the very changes we so desperately desire?

Excuses: The Silent Barrier to Growth

Think of excuses as a protective layer—like armour you didn’t ask for but carry around anyway. They feel safe. Every “but” or “if only” we throw into the mix gives us an out, a reason to stay comfortable in the discomfort we already know. We can tell ourselves that we’re not quite ready or that we’ll tackle it tomorrow. And that armour? It’s fear. It’s perfectionism. It’s a fear of failing, of being judged, or even of succeeding. Sometimes, the idea of success is more frightening than failure because it forces us to let go of the familiar.

Look at the excuses in the poem:
“I know what to do, but I always have an excuse.”
“I know when the time is right, but I only know how to procrastinate.”

These lines reveal a deeper truth: we aren’t avoiding change because we don’t want it. We’re avoiding it because it’s uncomfortable to step into the unknown.

Practical Ways to Break Free from Excuses

So, how do we stop the cycle? How do we shift from excuses to action? Here are some friendly, practical steps you can start with today:

1. Acknowledge the Fear, but Don’t Let It Lead

The first step is recognizing that your excuses often come from fear. It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let fear be the driver. Instead of trying to push fear away, invite it in. Acknowledge it, but make sure it’s riding shotgun, not in the driver’s seat.

Practical tip: Every time you catch yourself making an excuse, pause and ask, “What am I actually afraid of here?” Write it down. You might be surprised at how revealing it is.

2. Take Imperfect Action

Perfectionism is one of the sneakiest forms of self-sabotage. We tell ourselves that if we can’t do something perfectly, we shouldn’t do it at all. But here’s the truth: action beats inaction every time. Even a small, imperfect step is a step forward.

Practical tip: Pick one small action you can take today that moves you toward your goal. Don’t worry about getting it just right. Just do it. Send that email, make that phone call, or start the project—no matter how messy.

3. Shift Your Focus to Progress, Not Perfection

This ties back to taking imperfect action. Often, we’re so focused on the end goal that we forget to celebrate the progress along the way. Progress is where growth happens, and the more we celebrate it, the more we’ll feel empowered to keep moving forward.

Practical tip: Keep a journal of small wins. At the end of each week, reflect on the progress you’ve made, no matter how small. This will help you build momentum and feel good about the changes you’re making.

4. Start with Self-Compassion

Many of us hold back from change because we’re afraid of disappointing ourselves or others. But what if we approached change with self-compassion instead? Change isn’t linear, and we’re bound to make mistakes along the way. What matters is how we treat ourselves in the process.

Practical tip: When you find yourself falling back into old habits or making excuses, don’t beat yourself up. Treat yourself like you would a close friend who’s struggling. Be kind, encouraging, and understanding.

5. Create Accountability

It’s easier to break free from excuses when we have someone cheering us on. Whether it’s a life coach, a friend, or a loved one, sharing your goals and progress with someone else adds an extra layer of accountability. It can also provide a different perspective when you’re stuck in your own head.

Practical tip: Find an accountability partner who can check in with you regularly. Even just a quick weekly text asking, “How’s it going?” can be the gentle nudge you need to stay on track.

Final Thoughts: You Can Do It, Even If You Don’t Believe It (Yet)

The truth is, we often know exactly what we want and need, but excuses become the easy way out. They offer protection from failure and the discomfort of change. But as we know, growth only happens outside the comfort zone.

The poem ends with, “I know what to do, but I always have an excuse.” Imagine if, instead, you said, “I know what to do, and I’m going to take one small step today.” It doesn’t have to be big or perfect. It just has to be a step in the right direction. Because in the end, the most important thing isn’t the change itself—it’s your willingness to keep showing up, even when it’s hard.

The real magic happens when you stop listening to the excuses and start trusting that you’re capable of more than you think. Let go of the armour and embrace the unknown. You’ve got this.

Yours in changing times,
Amisha